Heterosexual and Homosexual Fornication

Hi! I have a neighbor friend with whom I've been having sort of an ongoing "discussion/argument" about whether sex outside of marriage is OK, according to the Bible. I know in my heart it is not but he wants me to prove it to him with scripture. I haven't studied it extensively, but what I've read doesn't say it precisely enough to prove my point. There is one passage about two unwed people being found in the act and having to marry. Since the Ten Commandments does not say, thou shalt not have sex outside of marriage, he thinks it is ok. (LOL) Of course, the real issue is that he's not a born again believer. But, he asked me to prove it to him, so I'm going to try to do it. I don't know much about the Hebrew meanings of the words, etc. Can you help, when you have time? :-) Thanks!

MY REPLY:

Fornication is the broad term that covers all sex outside of heterosexual marriage. Adultery, homosexuality, whoremonger, bestiality, masturbation: all fall under this category. The Greek word for fornication is "porneia", from which we get pornography. Many commit fornication with pornography in print or on TV. {Mt.5:28} but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. The same is true for any other illicit sexual desire. Repentance and faith deliver from these sins.

Heterosexual Fornication

EVERYONE WHO HAS SEX OUT OF MARRIAGE IS A FORNICATOR. {1 Cor.7:1} Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. {7:2} But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

All fornicators must repent or face eternal damnation. {1 Cor.6:9} Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, {6:10} nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. {6:11} And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God. {15} Know ye not that your bodies are members of Christ? shall I then take away the members of Christ, and make them members of a harlot? God forbid. {6:16} Or know ye not that he that is joined to a harlot is one body? for, The twain, saith he, shall become one flesh. {6:17} But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. {6:18} Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. {10:8} Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

{Gal.5:19} Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, {5:21} envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forewarn you, that they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

{Rev.21:7} He that overcometh shall inherit these things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. {21:8} But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part [shall be] in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death. {22:14} Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have the right [to come] to the tree of life, and my enter in by the gates into the city. {22:15} Without are the dogs, and the sorcerers, and the fornicators, and the murderers, and the idolaters, and every one that loveth and maketh a lie.

{1 Cor.7:9} But if they have not continency (self control of sexual appetites), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. {1 Tim.5:14} I desire therefore that the younger [widows] marry, bear children, rule the household, give no occasion to the adversary for reviling: {5:15} for already some are turned aside after Satan.

{Job 31:1} I made a covenant with mine eyes; How then should I look upon a virgin? {31:9} If my heart hath been enticed unto a woman, And I have laid wait at my neighbor's door; {31:10} Then let my wife grind unto another, And let others bow down upon her. {31:11} For that were a heinous crime; Yea, it were an iniquity to be punished by the judges: {31:12} For it is a fire that consumeth unto Destruction, And would root out all mine increase.

{Pr.2:16} To deliver thee from the strange woman, Even from the foreigner that flattereth with her words; {2:17} That forsaketh the friend of her youth, And forgetteth the covenant of her God: {2:18} For her house inclineth unto death, And her paths unto the dead; {2:19} None that go unto her return again, Neither do they attain unto the paths of life:

{Ex.22:16} And if a man entice a virgin that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife. {22:17} If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. {Dt.22:28} If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; {22:29} then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his days.

Do you believe that because you are "saved" that you can get away with this willful disobedience? {Jer.7:9} Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods that ye have not known, {7:10} and come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered; that ye may do all these abominations? {7:11} Is this house, which is called by my name, become a den of robbers in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it, saith Jehovah. {7:12} But go ye now unto my place which was in Shiloh, where I caused my name to dwell at the first, and see what I did to it for the wickedness of my people Israel. {7:13} And now, because ye have done all these works, saith Jehovah, and I spake unto you, rising up early and speaking, but ye heard not; and I called you, but ye answered not: {7:14} therefore will I do unto the house which is called by my name, wherein ye trust, and unto the place which I gave to you and to your fathers, as I did to Shiloh. {7:15} And I will cast you out of my sight, as I have cast out all your brethren, even the whole seed of Ephraim. That is just Old Testament you say?

In any place that we are willfully disobedient, we need the fear of God. Sins of ignorance (Rom.5:13; 7:8,9) and sins of failure (Rom.7:19-25) are under the blood. However, we cannot claim the sacrificial benefits if we willfully walk in premeditated sin. (Heb.10:26) For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more a sacrifice for sins, (27) but a certain fearful expectation of judgment... Jesus bore all sin; He also bore the penalty for all sin, except willful disobedience. Notice that there is "no more a sacrifice" for that sin. We should have "a certain fearful expectation of judgment". Many of us have been lied to about the cleansing of the blood. (1 Jn.1:7) But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanseth us from all sin. The blood cleanses the one who walks in the light of the Word, not in the darkness of willful disobedience.

For willful disobedience, we are promised certain judgment. We pay the penalty for this sin here and now, as in the following verses: (Mt.18:34) And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors (demons), till he should pay all that was due. (35) So shall also my heavenly Father do unto you, if ye forgive not every one his brother from your hearts. God will use the demons to make us pay for a sin of the will. (Mt.5:25) Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art with him in the way; lest haply the adversary deliver thee to the judge (God), and the judge deliver thee to the officer (demon), and thou be cast into prison. (26) Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou have paid the last farthing. The prison here is spiritual bondage to sin and the curse, administered by the demons. Jesus came "...to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening [of the prison] to them that are bound" (Isa.61:1). Willful disobedience throws us back into the prison that Jesus delivered us from.

David sinned willfully with Bathsheba. When he repented, Nathan the prophet said, "The Lord also hath put away thy sin", but he also said, "The sword shall never depart from thy house". In other words, I forgive you but you will have to pay the penalty. This proved true, for David lost three sons and many people. His own son Absalom won the sympathy of the people and usurped the kingdom. David had to flee for his life. We do not spank our children for failure or mistakes, but for willful disobedience. Paul said, "For the good which I would I do not: but the evil which I would not (willed not), that I practice. But if what I would not (willed not), that I do, it is no more I that do it, but sin which dwelleth in me" (Rom.7:19,20). Paul was failing God in a sin that his will was against. Notice that he hated the sin and was not accounted guilty; the old sin nature was guilty. When we are against the sin, God takes our side against the sin. He takes the side of the spiritual man against the old man. In this state, Paul cried out to the Lord. (24) Wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me out of the body of this death? Then he accepted God's promise of deliverance by faith. (25) I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Jesus bore the curse of the sin for a person who, like Paul, is repentant.

The curse of death is upon the one who will not save themselves for marriage. {Dt.22:13} If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,{22:14} and lay shameful things to her charge, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came nigh to her, I found not in her the tokens of virginity; {22:20} But if this thing be true, that the tokens of virginity were not found in the damsel; {22:21} then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the harlot in her father's house: so shalt thou put away the evil from the midst of thee. Only repentance and faith in the sacrifice of Jesus removes this curse.

{22:22} If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die, the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away the evil from Israel.

{22:23} If there be a damsel that is a virgin betrothed unto a husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; {22:24} then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them to death with stones; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbor's wife: so thou shalt put away the evil from the midst of thee.

{22:25} But if the man find the damsel that is betrothed in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her; then the man only that lay with her shall die: {22:26} but unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbor, and slayeth him, even so is this matter; {22:27} for he found her in the field, the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.

Homosexual Fornication

{Jude 1:7} Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them, having in like manner with these given themselves over to fornication and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the punishment of eternal fire. {2 Pet.2:6} and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, having made them an example unto those that should live ungodly; {2:7} and delivered righteous Lot, sore distressed by the lascivious life of the wicked {2:8} (for that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed [his] righteous soul from day to day with [their] lawless deeds): {2:9} the Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptation, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment unto the day of judgment; {2:10} but chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of defilement, and despise dominion.

{Rom.1:24} Wherefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts unto uncleanness, that their bodies should be dishonored among themselves: {1:25} for that they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. {1:26} For this cause God gave them up unto vile passions: for their women changed the natural use into that which is against nature: {1:27} and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working unseemliness, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was due. {1:28} And even as they refused to have God in [their] knowledge, God gave them up unto a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not fitting {1:32} who, knowing the ordinance of God, that they that practise such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but also consent with them that practise them. {Gal.5:19} Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, {5:21} ...they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

{1 Cor.6:9} Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, {6:10} ... shall inherit the kingdom of God. {6:11} And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.

{Dt.23:17} There shall be no prostitute of the daughters of Israel, neither shall there be a sodomite of the sons of Israel. {23:18} Thou shalt not bring the hire of a harlot, or the wages of a dog, into the house of Jehovah thy God for any vow: for even both these are an abomination unto Jehovah thy God. {Rev.21:7} He that overcometh shall inherit these things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. {21:8} But for the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and fornicators, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, their part [shall be] in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death. {22:14} Blessed are they that wash their robes, that they may have the right [to come] to the tree of life, and my enter in by the gates into the city. {22:15} Without are the dogs, and the sorcerers, and the fornicators, and the murderers, and the idolaters, and every one that loveth and maketh a lie.

{1 Kings 14:24} and there were also sodomites in the land: they did according to all the abominations of the nations which Jehovah drove out before the children of Israel. {15:11} And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of Jehovah, as did David his father. {15:12} And he put away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made.{Dt.22:5} A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whosoever doeth these things is an abomination unto Jehovah thy God. {Lev.18:22} Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. {20:13} And if a man lie with mankind, as with womankind, both of them have committed abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Bestiality

{Ex.22:19} Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.

{Lev.18:23} And thou shalt not lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith; neither shall any woman stand before a beast, to lie down thereto: it is confusion. {20:15} And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast. {20:16} And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

{Dt.27:21} Cursed be he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen.

Masturbation

{Gen.38:8} And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and perform the duty of a husband's brother unto her, and raise up seed to thy brother. {38:9} And Onan knew that the seed would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest he should give seed to his brother. {38:10} And the thing which he did was evil in the sight of Jehovah: and he slew him also.

'Groundbreaking' study shows 'gays' can change
Posted: September 15, 2007 1:00 a.m. Eastern © 2007 WorldNetDaily.com

In the first longitudinal, peer-reviewed, scientific study of its kind, researchers have concluded some homosexuals can change their "orientation" through religiously mediated guidance.

Researchers Stanton L. Jones and Mark A. Yarhouse released the results Thursday of a three-year study during an address at the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference.

Their conclusions contradict the claims of the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association, which contend such change in sexual orientation is impossible and attempting to pursue it likely will cause depression, anxiety or self-destructive behavior.

The new study concluded such changes do not cause psychological harm to the patient.

Nicholas A. Cummings, former American Psychological Association president, praised the research.

"This study has broken new ground in its adherence to objectivity and a scientific precision that can be replicated and expanded, and it opens new horizons for investigation", he said.

Exodus International, the world's largest Christian ministry to homosexuals, said it funded the research because of the absence of any scientific, peer-reviewed research on the topic.

The major findings are reported in a book to be released by the evangelical Christian publisher InterVarsity Press, "Ex-Gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation".

A homosexual-activist group called Truth Wins Out warned news organizations "to be highly skeptical of a biased 'ex-gay' sham study".

The homosexual group said, "Caution should be taken in prematurely critiquing the study until the full methodology is available. However, based on unconfirmed reports there is great concern that these notorious anti-gay researchers did little more than professional ex-gay lobbyists and ministers from Exodus International and ask them if they had 'changed'".

Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International and a former homosexual, said, "Finally, there is now scientific evidence to prove what we as former homosexuals have known all along - that those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction can experience freedom from it".

"For years, opponents of choice have said otherwise, and this body of research is critical in advancing the national dialogue on this issue", he said.

Chambers said "the life-changing process of leaving homosexuality behind" is not easy, but, "for thousands of us, the journey has been well worth it, and we are grateful that these study findings give credence to our existence as men and women whose lives have been transformed by Jesus Christ".

Jones, a provost and professor at Wheaton College, an evangelical school in Wheaton, Ill., told CitizenLink magazine in an interview he was prompted to do the study because of the "ever-increasing pessimism expressed in the professional world that sexual orientation could ever be changed".

"This was in contrast to the fact that I occasionally met individuals in Christian circles who claim to have experienced precisely such change", he said. "When the mental-health field actually began to say that change is impossible - that sexual orientation cannot be changed - it formed the perfect scientific hypothesis to be able to conduct a study".

Jones noted there have been dozens of studies conducted suggesting change is possible for some people, but "the research is not of the highest quality and has been deeply and highly criticized".

After studying the criticisms of those studies, Jones and Yarhouse concluded the proper methodology would need to be both "prospective and longitudinal".

"Prospective means that you catch people before they begin the change process and follow them through the process, while longitudinal means that you're actually following people over time to see if the change is stable", Jones explained to CitizenLink. "The scientific characteristics of the study are unique, in that no one has ever started early and then followed people over a long period of time like we did".

Jones said they found that by following the subjects over time "not everyone is successful, not even a majority is successful, but a very substantial group of people report fairly dramatic change".

"We found that 15 percent of our sample of about 100 claimed to actually have changed from homosexuality to heterosexuality", he said. "These people experienced significant enough change that they really felt like they had left one sexual orientation to shift into another".

He acknowledged "life is still complicated for these people, and some still have some residuals of their homosexual attractions".

"However, they are people who report being able to function as heterosexuals, they're happy with their marriages and they feel that their lives have changed dramatically", he said.

The other type of success he found - in almost a quarter of the subjects - was "people who left the homosexual lifestyle and experienced very substantial reductions in homosexual attraction by embracing the Christian discipline of chastity, not acting on their sexual impulses".

"These were people who felt like they were free now to orient their lives not on their sexual, erotic desires and needs, but on their relationship with God and on healthy, nonsexual intimacy with other people", Jones said.

The two groups together, those who converted and those who experienced chastity, made up about 38 percent of the sample.

"We feel these changes observed over this substantial period of time provide clear indication that the opinions of the secular mental-health field that change is impossible are simply wrong", Jones said.

The second area of the research focused on the secular mental-health community's claims that the attempt to change is harmful.

Jones and Yarhouse administered a standard psychological inventory that measures psychological distress to subjects at every point along the way.

"We found that there was essentially no change in their psychological distress over time", Jones said. "On that basis, we feel that there is no evidence that the change attempt is harmful, and we found evidence that change is possible for some people".

He added, however, the research does not prove anybody can change or that no one has ever been harmed from the attempt to change.

"It just suggests that the forceful way in which the secular mental-health community is saying change is impossible and harmful is just not well-advised", he said.

Jones pointed out the American Psychological Association has a blue-ribbon panel right now examining the question of how it should formulate its policies on the subject of attempts to change sexual orientation.

Certain members, Jones noted, have already said publicly change is impossible and harmful.

Jones said he hopes "there will be enough of an open mind on the part of the secular mental-health community that they will not continue the movement towards banning these kinds of attempts to change sexual orientation, harassing them out of existence and labeling as unethical any professional person who cooperates with them".

"There is a need to respect the autonomy of individuals who are distressed about what they have experienced sexually and for religious or moral reasons want to try the attempt to change", Jones told CitizenLink. "Those people first need to be fully informed about just how complex and difficult that process is and then they should have the right as individuals, as an exercise of personal and religious freedom, to seek support in their attempt to change sexual orientation".

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