Disciplining Your Children for Their Good

There is no condemnation for raising your children in times of your ignorance and/or unregeneration. {Jas.4:17} To him therefore that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. {Joh.6:44} No man can come to me, except the Father that sent me draw him: and I will raise him up in the last day. {15:16} Ye did not choose me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that ye should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

Much of what I have to say today has to do with God as our Father and we as parents when it comes to disciplining children. {Heb.12:7} It is for chastening that ye endure; God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father chasteneth not? (8) But if ye are without chastening, whereof all have been made partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. (9) Furthermore, we had the fathers of our flesh to chasten us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? (10) For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed good to them; but he for our profit, that we may be partakers of his holiness. (11) All chastening seemeth for the present to be not joyous but grievous; yet afterward it yieldeth peaceable fruit unto them that have been exercised thereby, even the fruit of righteousness.

{Deu.21:18} If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, that will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and, though they chasten him, will not hearken unto them; (19) then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; (20) and they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. (21) And all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones: so shalt thou put away the evil from the midst of thee; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. Why would God do this? Because grace and deliverance had not come under the law and the sins of this son would be passed on to his children in a geometric progression that would fill the earth as we see today. These people are destroying the earth, each other and the righteous which brings the greatest curse on them of all. A more murderous generation there has never been. Father destroyed the earth at the flood to get rid of the evil seed or the earth and its people would not have made it this far. He started over with four sowers from the ark and the first thing they did was to sacrifice the beastly flesh.

Now, according to Jesus, we have grace through faith and authority over demons who take advantage of every sin in us and our children. When there is extreme disobedience, deliverance may be necessary and will do much good for the child and ourselves. It would save them many whippings and much wasted life. Every parent has the authority to do this. Jesus made it possible. {Col.1:13} who delivered us out of the power of darkness, and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of his love; {Mar.16:17} And these signs shall accompany them that believe: in my name shall they cast out demons... {Luk.9:1} And he called the twelve together, and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. {10:19} Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall in any wise hurt you. Their deliverance is through our faith. {1Co.7:14} For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the brother: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. Deliverance gets the demons out and chastening gives the children motivation to resist them so they don't come back.

When we walk in sin, our children inherit it. {Deu.5:9} thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them; for I, Jehovah, thy God, am a jealous God, visiting (to look over or after; inspect) the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the third and upon the fourth generation of them that hate me (The fathers pass on their sin nature through their blood to their children.); 10 and showing lovingkindness unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments. These too can pass on a righteous life to their children.

{Lev.17:11} For the life (Hebrew: "soul") of the flesh is in the blood; and I have given it to you upon the altar to make atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh atonement by reason of the life. The blood of Jesus through our faith breaks the genetic curse passed on from generation to larger generation from the blood of our parents.

{Isa.65:6} ... I will recompense into their bosom, {7} your own iniquities, and the iniquities of your fathers together (This is because the fathers' iniquities are passed on to the children and are IN the children in the blood.), saith Jehovah, that have burned incense upon the mountains, and blasphemed me upon the hills; therefore will I first measure their work into their bosom.

Some people see this as a contradiction, but not so. {Deu.24:16} The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin. But still the sin nature is passed on to them from the fathers.

There is another way to keep the child from becoming rebellious: repentance and faith in the promises.

{Pro.22:6} Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it. ... {15} Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Now you know why children end up in jail or dead or destroy themselves giving into their flesh. What awesome promises correction has for their future.

{Pro.13:24} He that spareth his rod hateth his son; But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Weak parents want to spare themselves and their children the pain but this is the way to destroy them and you, like Eli, who did not chasten his sons and they all died and were lost. {Heb.12:11} All chastening seemeth for the present to be not joyous but grievous; yet afterward it yieldeth peaceable fruit unto them that have been exercised thereby, even the fruit of righteousness.

We must not get discouraged when parents or the Lord chasten us because this proves their love for us. {Heb.12:5} and ye have forgotten the exhortation which reasoneth with you as with sons, My son, regard not lightly the chastening of the Lord, Nor faint when thou art reproved of him; {6} For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, And scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

{Eph.6:2} Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), {3} that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. {1}Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. {Pro.30:17} The eye that mocketh at his father, And despiseth to obey his mother, The ravens of the valley shall pick it out, And the young eagles shall eat it. {13:1} A wise son heareth his father's instruction; But a scoffer heareth not rebuke.

{Pro.19:18} Chasten thy son, seeing there is hope; And set not thy heart on his destruction. The child must have a reason to resist the devil or they will bring him into your house and theirs. Parents are ruled by demons in their children and open a door for the demons to come into themselves. If the parents don't chasten, God will, and His spankings are hard.

{Pro.23:13} Withhold not correction from the child; For if thou beat him with the rod, he will not die. {14} Thou shalt beat him with the rod, And shalt deliver his soul from Sheol. Some say, what about the laws about child abuse? We should be wise and weak to the weak but obey God. {Act.5:29} But Peter and the apostles answered and said, We must obey God rather than men. Also, chastening without love is child abuse and they will rebel.

{Eph.6:4} And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord. {Col.3:21} Fathers, provoke not your children, that they be not discouraged. Overcorrection brings rejection and frustration in a child. Love and reasoning and training with chastening will bring good results. Children should hear these verses and know that without this chastening they will miss God in every way.

{Pro.29:15} The rod and reproof give wisdom; But a child left to himself causeth shame to his mother. ... {17} Correct thy son, and he will give thee rest; Yea, he will give delight unto thy soul. There will be no rest to the parent who does not chasten their child when they are willfully rebellious. God always does chasten His children when this happens. {Heb.10:26} For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more a sacrifice for sins, {27} but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and a fierceness of fire which shall devour the adversaries.

{Pro.20:30} Stripes that wound cleanse away evil; And strokes reach the innermost parts. Chastening should be according to the measure of the crime but it should also leave a lasting impression so they won't want the penalty again. If they learn this penalty from their earthly parents, they will understand it when it comes from their heavenly Father.

{Pro.13:18} Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth correction; But he that regardeth reproof shall be honored.

{Pro.6:23} For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; And reproofs of instruction are the way of life (Instruction in the Word will train the child why they need to cooperate with God.): {2Ti.3:16} Every scripture inspired of God is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness.

{Pro.15:5} A fool despiseth his father's correction; But he that regardeth reproof getteth prudence. Fools hate correction which will save the life of the one who has it. Many times, rejection and fear of rejection causes this. They read correction as rejection and fear it. ... {32} He that refuseth correction despiseth his own soul (which is his life); But he that hearkeneth to reproof getteth understanding. {12:1} Whoso loveth correction loveth knowledge; But he that hateth reproof is brutish (or beastly).

Children need a mentor that they feel comfortable to talk to and gain understanding. {Mar.10:14} But when Jesus saw it, he was moved with indignation, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me; forbid them not: for to such belongeth the kingdom of God.

We are stewards of our children for God. We must share the Gospel with them when they are young and impressionable. {2Co.5:20} We are ambassadors therefore on behalf of Christ, as though God were entreating by us: we beseech you on behalf of Christ, be ye reconciled to God.

{Jer.2:19} Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and a bitter, that thou hast forsaken Jehovah thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord, Jehovah of hosts. Rebelling against the Lord hurts. I knew a man who tore up his house because of anger and then had to live in it. {Act.26:14} And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice saying unto me in the Hebrew language, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the goad (or pricks).

We must train children in the fear of the Lord without which they will be blocked from deeper wisdom and obedience. {Psa.34:11} Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of Jehovah. {Pro.16:6} By mercy and truth iniquity is atoned for; And by the fear of Jehovah men depart from evil. {Psa.111:10} The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all they that do his commandments: His praise endureth for ever. {Pro.8:13} The fear of Jehovah is to hate evil: Pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, And the perverse mouth, do I hate.

Lack of the fear of parents and the Lord will shorten their life and put them in danger. {Pro.10:27} The fear of Jehovah prolongeth days; But the years of the wicked shall be shortened. {14:26} In the fear of Jehovah is strong confidence; And his children shall have a place of refuge. {27} The fear of Jehovah is a fountain of life, That one may depart from the snares of death. Children are saved from death and stay saved by the fear of the Lord.

Faith for Lost Loved Ones
David Eells

Some parents feel very guilty that, though they did the best they could, their children seem to be going the wrong way. The following teaching is not against those who have faithfully served the Lord from their youth, but rather for those who feel that the Lord has passed them or their children by.

Walk by faith for them, not sight. Believe in your prayers, expect miracles, but be patient. God has a plan for them. Give some deep thought to this. It will free you from worry, strife, and self-effort to bring about God's will in them. They will have to be saved after tribulation and failure of their worldly expectations, probably like you were. Children raised knowing about the Lord are sometimes very self-righteous. They think they deserve what they have and don't understand grace. They will also have to see themselves as sinners in order to be the dirt that the fruit can be borne out of. God only saves sinners. Have you been one? This is a necessary revelation in order to appreciate the great value of salvation and be saved by unmerited favor. I remember my oldest daughter, when she was three years old, going around our lost friends and relatives saying, "God don't like that". Of course, we told her that but she quickly deflected the responsibility. We thought, "You little Pharisee".

Our Heavenly Father has had many prodigal sons, just as Jesus' parable shows but that does not make Him a bad Father. {Luk.15:11} And he said, A certain man had two sons: (12) and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of thy substance that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. (13) And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together and took his journey into a far country; and there he wasted his substance with riotous living. (14) And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that country; and he began to be in want. (15) And he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. (16) And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. (17) But when he came to himself he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish here with hunger! (18) I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight: (19) I am no more worthy to be called your son: make me as one of thy hired servants. (20) And he arose, and came to his father. But while he was yet afar off, his father saw him, and was moved with compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. (21) And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight: I am no more worthy to be called thy son. (22) But the father said to his servants, Bring forth quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: (23) and bring the fatted calf, and kill it, and let us eat, and make merry: (24) for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. (25) Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard music and dancing. (26) And he called to him one of the servants, and inquired what these things might be. (27) And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. (28) But he was angry, and would not go in: and his father came out, and entreated him. (29) But he answered and said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, and I never transgressed a commandment of thine; and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: (30) but when this thy son came, who hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou killedst for him the fatted calf. (31) And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that is mine is thine. (32) But it was meet to make merry and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

In this parable, the so-called "good" son who never left was self righteous, judgmental and merciless. On the other hand, the younger son who spent his inheritance on riotous living realized his low estate and came to his father very humbly, saying, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight: I am no more worthy to be called thy son" (21). In other words, the once rebellious son now understood mercy and grace and was a much better man for it. Prophetically, the firstborn son who never left the Father was the righteous among Israel, but they did not understand grace. The younger, second son of the Father who fell away through the dark ages for 2,000 years is the Church who is returning in these days to understand the grace of God. Father said to these, "Bring forth quickly the best robe (The robe of righteousness - Isaiah 61:10), and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand (symbol of authority and of the Bride), and shoes (the walk of separation from the world) on his feet" (22). The Prodigal son will have more of everything than the first son.

Those who have been sinners know their need of God but many times those who are raised as God's people do not. (Mat.21:28) But what think ye? A man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to-day in the vineyard. (29) And he answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented himself, and went. (30) And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I [go], sir: and went not. (31) Which of the two did the will of his father? They say, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, that the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. (32) For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not; but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye saw it, did not even repent yourselves afterward, that ye might believe him. Many times it is not the son who says he will go to work in the Fathers vineyard who actually goes, but the son whose first inclination is to not go. Many career Christians are bored with the work of God and distracted by the world. The publicans and harlots are so appreciative of a place in the kingdom that they throw their whole heart into it, willing to be servants rather than be served.

In the last days of the Gentiles, it will be the same as it was in the last days of the Jews. There are many self-righteous "Christians" today who are not the creation that the Father desires. Those of you who have been raised in the Church should humble yourselves to the Word of God and not religion so that no man take your crown (Revelation 3:11). (Luk.18:9) And he spake also this parable unto certain who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and set all others at nought: (10) Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. (11) The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. (12) I fast twice in the week; I give tithes of all that I get. (13) But the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote his breast, saying, God, be thou merciful to me a sinner. (14) I say unto you, This man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; but he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Jesus told the Pharisees that He did not come to call the righteous but the sinners. (Rom.11:32) For God hath shut up all unto disobedience, that he might have mercy upon all. (8:20) For the creation was subjected to vanity (the fall and corruption), not of its own will, but by reason of him (God) who subjected it, in hope (firm expectation) (21) that the creation itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the liberty of the glory of the children of God. (Gal.3:22) But the scriptures shut up all things under sin, that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe. He chose us in Christ before Adam even fell. (Eph.1:4) even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blemish before him in love. Meaning He knew we would need a savior before the world was made. From this, you can see that the fall was in his plan. Children who are raised with Christ most often take Him for granted and do not really understand grace. God has a plan for them that may involve the temporary lifting of His grace that has been taken for granted.

Peter was Jesus' little one, whom He raised up to be a disciple. He was very self-confident, declaring to the Lord that he would never be offended and deny Him, but would go with Him to death (Matthew 26:33-35). God hates self-confidence but loves God confidence. So how does God deal with this sin? (1Co.10:12) Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. Failure is the best treatment for self confidence. (Luk.22:31) Simon, Simon, behold, Satan asked to have you, that he might sift you as wheat: (32) but I made supplication for thee, that thy faith fail not; and do thou, when once thou hast turned again, establish thy brethren. (33) And he said unto him, Lord, with thee I am ready to go both to prison and to death. (34) And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, until thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me. Jesus prophesied failure for this proud man. Notice that Jesus, who had authority over Satan, did not forbid him from sifting Peter. Satan sifts to get what belongs to him. In this case, it was Peter's pride, self-righteousness and self-confidence. What fell through the sieve was what God wanted: the humbled Peter. The sifted Peter who had "turned again" or been converted, could now "establish the brethren". Before this failure, he would have been a good Pharisee.

(Luk.7:40) And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Teacher, say on. (41) A certain lender had two debtors: the one owed five hundred shillings, and the other fifty. (42) When they had not [wherewith] to pay, he forgave them both. Which of them therefore will love him most? (43) Simon answered and said, He, I suppose, to whom he forgave the most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. (44) And turning to the woman, he said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thy house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath wetted my feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair. (45) Thou gavest me no kiss: but she, since the time I came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet. (46) My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but she hath anointed my feet with ointment. (47) Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, [the same] loveth little. Big sinners make bigger saints.

God wants people who are forgiven of their many sins and saved by grace so that they love and appreciate Him much. This is the creation that He wants, not Adam before the Fall. The creation that springs from the last Adam, Jesus Christ. Don't worry about them becoming sinners; just "hold fast the confession of your hope that it waver not, for he is faithful that promised". Gracefully sow seeds of truth as you can without frustrating them. They cannot be convinced without grace. "God works all things after the counsel of His own will" and "a man can receive nothing except it come from heaven" and "no one comes unto the Son except the Father draws him". God will do it when the time is right and He will use your faith. "Faith is the substance of the thing hoped for". I think you can see why sometimes God does not save people until they are a little older and have tried the world and found it wanting.

Seeing others by faith

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