Cornelius Bosch from South Africa - 11/02/2010
On Sunday morning, I was poisoned and nearly died. I ground some fresh coffee beans (I used an old mill that came out of storage and apparently some of the leftover coffee in the mill became toxic) and made myself a coffee. About 15 minutes later I started feeling strange; I felt my blood pressure drop. It felt like the room started tilting to one side. I had to go lie down. My body started shutting down and I went into shock. I had a friend here visiting, but he knew that he was not allowed to take me to a hospital. We spoke about this the previous week! I told him that I trusted the Lord with my life and that if I ever came to be in a life or death situation, he was to leave me alone. Well, he listened. He was very concerned because my whole body was shaking and my eyes were moving very fast from side to side.
I heard a voice in my head saying to me, "Today you will see that everything you believe is a lie. If you do not go to a hospital now, you will die". I knew this was the enemy speaking and I felt God's strength coming into me, refusing to ask for man's help. This really came from the Lord through His mercy and grace.
Then the Lord spoke and said, "Cornelius, this is only the beginning". I realized that I was going to go through something and that I would most probably have to face death. I started quoting Scripture. My words were literally echoing, like in the movies. I started to lose my sight and then could hardly speak, but I started praising the Lord for everything. Praising Him for my life so far, even for the poisoning. I kept on repeating God's promises: Mar.16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. I could feel that the promises became like stepping stones to me. 1Pe.2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. Everything was dark around me, but the Word became very, very real to me. I was literally walking on it. Gen.15:1 After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward. I knew that I was not allowed to become fearful because fear was negative faith in the enemy.
Suddenly, I saw gates in front of me. Huge iron gates. I knew they were the gates of death. A voice told me to let go and enter, but I was really not in agreement with me dying right then! I called out to the Lord for help and He came. I told Him that I did not want to die yet.
Suddenly, I was with Jesus and we were standing in the eye of a hurricane. I could see the huge storm turning around us, but there was tremendous peace around me. From the bottom, it looked like the pictures I saw of Hurricane Katrina. Jesus smiled and said, "You have been here before".
This was true. 30 years ago, I also almost died, as well, and Jesus met me in the eye of the storm, too. He healed me there. He said, "You know, you can only come to this place through a storm such as this. You cannot get to the eye in any other way!" But then He lifted up His hand and held up a soap bubble that was hanging on a hair. He said, "Look, this is your life. Look how fragile it is. It's My life in you". I said, "Yes, Lord, it's fragile". He carried on swinging it in front of me, saying, "Cornelius, fragile. Fragile. Treasure My life. Walk gently on the earth". I knew what He meant. He was talking about losing the self-life.
The self-life comes against His life and brings death to those who do not die to self. Those who do not walk in total surrender are walking according to their lusts. They are not walking in His righteousness.
Then I saw the Father. But He only showed one side of Himself to me. I was looking at something like a door partially opened. I saw His innocence and His love. He was not the angry God I thought He would be; He was loving. For the first time in my life I felt God loving me. His love toward His children is something that comes naturally from Him. It is Him. He is love! His love was pouring out of Him and I could feel it.
He took the soap bubble and repeated what Jesus said. I saw that He loved the life that came from Him. He treasured it. He showed me how the enemy hurts Him through us, when we as Christians come against this gentle life that exists in righteousness alone. We do the work of the enemy when we move in unrighteousness. The Father said, "Treasure My life in you", and again, "Walk gently in this earth". He too was speaking about walking in righteousness.
Then He said, "Cornelius, choose life". Only later did I realize what He was referring to: Deu.30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live ... Choosing life is walking in the Spirit; that is, do not believe your eyes above what the Word says. We have to believe the Word and not our experiences.
We have to be aware of the fragility of life. I was made aware that we can indeed lose this gift. He wanted all of me. I had to lay down my life before Him if I wanted His life to exist in me. The Word kept me alive through all of this. Psalm 23 came spontaneously to me when things became very bad. I really walked through that Psalm. I went through the valley of the shadow of death. I knew this was His rod and staff and they were now here so that I would be eternally protected (if I listened). He was correcting me.
Then I came to the green pastures and the still water, in the eye of the storm. Then He set a table before me in the midst of my enemy, which was death. He fed me His Word. He loved me and He laughed. He alone was my Savior. A doctor would have robbed me of this. He heard my prayer.
Just two weeks ago, I prayed and said, "Lord, I need a near-death experience in my life. I just know I do". Well, He agreed and I knew when it started that I was going to face death, but not alone. The Word was my shield and I clung to it. I would not have missed this for all the money in the world.
When I came back, my body took about a week to recover. I asked the Lord to confirm this experience to me through the Word and He did. I prayed and opened the Bible at Joh.5:26 For as the Father hath life in himself; so hath he given to the Son to have life in himself... Then I prayed and asked the Lord to give me a verse about the fragility of life. Again, I just opened my Bible and it fell open here: Jas.4:14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
The Lord carried on speaking to me after this experience. He told me that He is going to shake everything, just like He shook my body. He is going to bring us all to a place where we are helpless, just like I was when my body started shutting down. He told me that He is bringing us all into the place where we will only have the Word to rely on and that the Word will indeed become the only stepping stones we have. He showed me that we all must walk on the Word, if we want to get through to the eye of our storms. He is waiting in the eye, but He is also the Word on which we may rely in the storm. We need to enter into His rest.
Do not trust your circumstances -- trust the Word. Do not look with your natural eyes; they will only make you fear! Look with your spiritual eyes and choose life! Choose the Word and you will live!